From the Washington Post:

Couples who have a child with attention deficit hyperactivity disorder are nearly twice as likely to divorce or separate as couples who do not have children with the disorder, according to a definitive new study.

The reason, apparently, is that children who are inattentive or hyperactive can exacerbate conflicts, tensions and arguments between parents.

Researchers said the evidence suggests that parents are psychologically worn thin by difficult exchanges with their children, and thus have less ability to respond to other challenges calmly. Several researchers said parents need to develop techniques to improve coping skills, and to take good care of themselves.

… “Many parents do not take care of themselves. We encourage them to do that even though they may feel they have no time because of all their commitments to their families,” said Andrea Chronis-Tuscano, a psychologist who directs the University of Maryland’s ADHD Program. “One of our mantras is, ‘If you don’t take care of yourself, you can’t do your best as a parent.’ “

From the [UK] Independent:

Advocates and officials held urgent talks in London last week to discuss the forced marriages of people with learning disabilities to foreigners seeking passports.

The Foreign Office’s Forced Marriage Unit dealt with more than 80 cases of forced marriages involving people with learning disabilities last year, amounting to more than one in five of the total cases reported to the government. Experts fear the true scale of the problem is far worse.

Support groups attribute these forced marriages to the stigma of disability in some ethnic communities, the social and cultural isolation of people with disabilities, the fear of aging parents that their vulnerable children will not be cared for, and the view that people with disabilities are commodities.

Rape, domestic violence and abandonment are common consequences of such marriages, according to support groups.

‘How I faced up to a deep-seated prejudice against disabled people’

[UK] Guardian columnist Stewart Dakers explores the complicated emotions he experiences when two acquaintances who have disabilities get married, buy a house and have a child. He describes Dave and Sue as having epilepsy and other conditions he doesn’t understand. “… A generation ago, they’d have been called ‘retards’.”

Dakers says he and other neighbors felt uneasy when the couple married, thinking it “improper, unseemly,” and “a step too far.” Their disapproval grew when Dave and Sue had a child. “No good can come of it … shouldn’t be allowed,” some said.

At this point, Dakers writes, he began to dislike Sue — and he sees that dislike as a positive development.

(more…)

Regrets having prenatal blood screen

Orange County Register reporter Sarah Tully describes the anguish she felt as an expectant mother whose prenatal blood test “came back positive for Down syndrome.” She regretted taking the test.

Tully reports that she hadn’t really given the blood test much consideration before agreeing to have it done, and she had no idea what the test results meant. Learning that she had an elevated chance of having a child with Down syndrome sent her into an emotional tailspin. Although she subsequently learned that a “positive” result on the blood test didn’t necessarily mean her fetus was affected, her anxiety mounted.

After much worry, Tully and her husband decided to have an amniocentesis, a test with more than 99 percent accuracy that nonetheless carries a small risk of miscarriage. When she got the call notifying her that her fetus was not affected, Tully burst into tears.

… I couldn’t help think about how stressful the past few weeks had been. It all seemed unnecessary. I decided that, if I get pregnant again, I might get amniocentesis to find out for sure. But I’ll never do a screening test again.

The story is accompanied by a glossary of prenatal screens and tests.

The Arab News, which promotes itself as the Middle East’s leading English language daily, reports that people with physical or intellectual disabilities are virtually excluded from marrying in Saudi Arabia because they are “considered damaged goods.”

“I receive a lot of matching requests,” said [volunteer matchmaker] Umm Bashir… “I’ve never come across a man or woman who would accept a person with a disability.”

This may be a universal concept, but in a system where dating is illegal, men and women who aren’t related cannot freely interact (without the presence of the woman’s male guardian) and marriages are often arranged through matchmakers, the challenges for the handicapped are exacerbated because relatives may immediately dismiss them before they get a chance to win the heart of a man or woman.