Excerpt from ‘Going Rogue’: Sarah Palin on life with Trig
November 21st, 2009![Sarah Palin and son Trig, photo from the [UK] Sunday Times](http://www.patriciaebauer.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/11/2009.11.21_sarah-palin-trig.jpg "Sarah Palin and son Trig, photo from the [UK] Sunday Times")
The [UK] Sunday Times carries an excerpt from Sarah Palin’s memoir in which she describes the “the problems and the joy of living with her special needs son.”
“Did I have enough love and compassion in me to do this? Don’t you have to be wired a little differently to be gifted with the ability to raise a special-needs child, a child who isn’t “perfect” in the eyes of society? I didn’t know if I should be ashamed of myself for even thinking these things.
“I read that almost 90% of Down’s syndrome babies are aborted — so wasn’t that a message that this is not only a less-than-ideal circumstance but also one that it is virtually impossible to deal with? Now, just a couple of hours into this new world, I could not get my arms or heart around it. That fleeting thought [abortion] descended on me again, not a consideration so much as a sudden understanding of why people would grasp at a quick ’solution’, a way to make the ‘problem’ just go away. But again, I had to hold on to that seed of faith.”
(Photo from the [UK] Sunday Times)
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December 8th, 2009 at 7:41 am
What you say is true on both counts, Sara. When listening to the concerns of a prenatally diagnosed parent, the old saying does apply: we can lead a horse to water but we can’t make them drink. All our efforts just don’t penetrate every heart/mind. But we press on, continuing to listen, share and as you point out, advocate for better resources and support.
December 7th, 2009 at 11:03 am
We face unknowns with all our children and with ourselves as well. It is so sad to think that a child never even makes it into the world based on concerns of the parents regarding how “severe” they will be. Who among us is perfect and who is not dealing with health and or other types of issues that limit what we thought we would be able to do with our lives. Life itself is not perfect. We all experience suffering in some way, but hope that the good days outnumber the bad. We need ever better resources, networks, parent support, etc., etc., for kids with disabilities, so life with a child with Down syndrome doesn’t seem so bleak to prospective parents.
December 6th, 2009 at 10:37 pm
What I hear from parents who do terminate is that they are just not able to handle the unknowns about raising a child with DS. How “severe” will the child be? What kind of health issues will they have? Will we go broke raising this child? They want definitive answers to these and many other questions or they just can’t sleep at night.
December 6th, 2009 at 12:06 pm
Clearly there are people who draw this line between pro-life and pro choice very carefully and neatly. Some even build an entire political platform on it.
But no one really knows what they’re going to do when faced with a choice to continue or terminate a pregnancy based on prenatal test results or family genetics or mutations from industrial accidents that devistate an entire region.
We can only hope that women would be treated with consideration, respect, and dignity regardless what she chooses.
As to why 90% chose to terminate their pregnancy, I bet many did so due to economics or lacking in family support to continue with the pregnancy.
Why anyone thinks that women terminate their pregnancy or resort to testing because they want a “perfect” baby is perhaps a myth perpetuated by the same people who want to take that “personal choice” away from women.
Are we so limited in our views of motherhood that we cannot go beyond stereotyping each other as monsters, missionaries, or worse yet martyrs for the choices we make?
December 5th, 2009 at 9:15 pm
Jessica,
I never said that all those that are pro-choice would opt to terminate based on a pre-natal diagnosis.
I did say that I’m sure there are many “pro-lifers” who become “pro-choice” when faced with a pre-natal diagnosis.
Regardless, with an estimated 90% termination rate, that doesn’t leave many “pro-choice” who choose to have the baby.
December 5th, 2009 at 5:16 pm
Tim & Sara – actually it was translated for the Brits. If you continue, you’ll see other little slight changes: queue, centre, colour, organisers, demeanour, etc….And of course Down’s Syndrome. I don’t understand the need (line vs queue) but they make them.
December 4th, 2009 at 9:36 pm
I for one would love to see her advocating early intervention. She has the means to get Trig the best of the best and make this a statement for early intervention and it’s long term positive effects. She also has the opportunity to educate the general population on respect and the value of a total life — not just in the delivery room. Instead she is parading him around like a Jerry Lewis telethon.
We have to stop this portrayal of people with DS as angels or a special gift from God. If you are a believer in God then the point is that ALL of us are gifts from God and we should ALL be treated with the same love and respect.
A potential president should not be evaluated on one issue. The whole abortion issue has become so convoluted. The extremist on each end of the spectrum have riled up the public so much that people are actually choosing a potential president based on this issue alone. That is absurd.
Palin has been quoted as calling her son her little “retard” by numerous people. She doesn’t get it even though she got him. The birth of a child with DS can come to anyone — regardless of race, religion, education or opinion. We need to educate better overall and not just hang our hat on one issue.
Sarah Palin is a joke that has no punch line. We deserve better.
December 4th, 2009 at 4:12 pm
Just b/c one is pro-choice does not mean that one will automatically choose to terminate based on a prenatal diagnosis of Ds. Let’s stop with the assumptions, Scott.
December 3rd, 2009 at 8:31 am
Scott,
With Palin’s track record, I’m willing to bet that your bet would be a winner. I’m glad she has earned your respect, but me personally, I expect more from people in her position.
Pete Sessions has used his political clout to do more for the Down syndrome community, why is it outlandish, direspectful, etc, for me to expect the same from Palin?
December 2nd, 2009 at 8:31 pm
Tim,
I would bet that nothing Sarah Palin does is going to satisfy you.
She did what only 10% of women in her situation do — go through with a pregnancy knowing that her child would have Down syndrome.
Does she deserve a medal? No, but she and others like her certainly have my respect.
I’m sure the other 90% includes many pro-lifers who became pro-choice upon getting their test results back.
December 2nd, 2009 at 7:04 pm
Tim – you’re right. I didn’t catch that it was an excerpt from her book and thought it was an article “written” by her and then edited by the Sunday Times. So there really is no excuse for the citation the way it’s written. And not to sound too petty, but what the heck is Trig doing on the so-called bus tour anyway? In this time of H1N1 there is no way I’d be taking my little one on the circuit. Being pro-life has to also mean knowing when and how to protect the innocent.
December 2nd, 2009 at 10:08 am
Heather, I’m not sure about the women’s issues but I find it patronizing and disgusting for her to choose political expediency to invoke her child’s name (Obama care is going to kill my elderly parents and down’s syndrome baby via facebook) and then never see her involved with the NDSS, NDSC, etc, etc.
I also find it curious that a person who is such a staunch pro-lifer had a fleeting consideration of an abortion. It’s not in this post, but you can find it in the book as well. If life is the most precious thing and abortion is not an option no matter what to those like Palin, how does that come up to someone with such standards on abortion? I’m anti drugs and never once have I thought to myself, hey, I should smoke this marijuana no matter how “fleeting” the thought because those are my principles.
Sara – as for the “Down’s” issue, normally I would agree with you, but this is a quote from a book, and I highly doubt a journalist took it upon himself/herself to change the verbiage and still use quotation marks. And why would an AMERICAN like “Sarah Barracuda” choose to use the UK vernacular in this situation? Maybe I’m wrong though.
I’m tired of people making excuses for this woman. I will respect her when she does something respectable, not having an abortion and plastering that around does not make me respect you, she did nothing more than what my family did in that situation and much less since.
December 1st, 2009 at 8:45 pm
What are the “real women’s issues”? I’d like to see them authoritatively listed out in black and white.
December 1st, 2009 at 9:36 am
I think you make some interesting points here about people first language. As for the resources for our kids, it is true that we must be diligent to be certain that resources are out there, and that they appropriated properly. All people should be given respect and opportunities to grow and flourish, no matter who they are …
However, I do take issue with the fact that a woman who happens to be pro life, and talks about her experience as a mother who got a diagnosis of Trisomy 21, is “patronizing real women’s issues”…
I am not sure why it would bother anyone for her to discuss her pro-life stance. Dignity for life is about all parts of life. The abortion rate of individuals with Down syndrome will always affect how the rest of the world sees individuals who happen to have Down syndrome. If their life is no value to doctors, family members, and geneticists in the womb, how can we expect people to value them in real life. If people are terminating them, at a rate that is debatable at this time, but still larger than one would expect, then there is a real problem with the perception that people have of our kids.
Yes, we need to protect the rights in education and the work force. We need supports in place for parents, because ALL life is precious, and should be treated respectfully! One who is pro-life, is advocating for them from conception to natural death. It does not stop at their birth.
November 23rd, 2009 at 3:00 pm
I agree Tim. It would be nice to read something substantial about her long term “pro-life” commitment in education, healthcare, and housing for children who are born with disability labels instead of watching her use Trig to patronize real women’s issues by promoting her personal views about abortion.
While I agree that having Trig was “life saving,” what about the rest of “life saving” hardships parents face that come after our children are rejected from the mainstream? Instead of using her book to address real women’s issues, she glosses over the reality most of us live every day.
Isn’t this patronizing real womens’ issues, by using her personal experiences as a mother and the decisions she’s made?
She is not the example. She is the exception.
November 23rd, 2009 at 11:52 am
I don’t have an issue with the “Down’s syndrome” bit because this was an article published in the UK. It’s often still cited that way in other countries. But, I totally agree that it should be the norm and understood by everyone by now (a tall order!) that the child comes before the diagnosis. People First Language (thank you Kathie Snow!) is such a simple concept but way too many people just haven’t gotten it yet.
November 22nd, 2009 at 8:59 pm
Who edited this nonsense? “Down’s syndrome baby”? Not only is it not Down’s but this woman who has been set up as some sort of “leader” (I’m not sure why) doesn’t know one of the basic princples of our cause that the child is a child first! This is the second time I’ve seen her write this and I go out of my way to avoid anything writen by her.
She has the ability to do so much good but has done nothing.
November 22nd, 2009 at 6:37 am
Good for Palin having an insight and understanding into those who make different choices when receiving a DS diagnosis. Those who lack that understanding are lacking an important factor as they seek to educate medical professionals on how to deliver a DS diagnosis and support our families.