John C. McGinley on his favorite role: Max’s dad
December 18th, 2008
Actor John C. McGinley (Dr. Perry Cox on ABC’s “Scrubs”) is featured in a cover article in Exceptional Parent. Topics of conversation: his life as dad to eleven-year-old Max, who has Down syndrome; what he thinks of those who make fun of people with disabilities, and the film “Tropic Thunder.” An excerpt:
… ["Tropic Thunder"] really cuts me to the core. And it feels to me like the perfect storm of cowardice when you pick on people who can’t return serve. So for Ben Stiller – who directed “Tropic Thunder” – he is just such a punk coward.
… I don’t like any exclusionary language. I hate it. Because all it does it perpetuate negative stigmas about different groups. And where’s the upside? The upside, I assume, is when people use language like that is that someone is trying to elevate themselves by denigrating whoever the subject is. And it doesn’t work that way. It just makes you a jackass. And I loathe it. I hate bullies and that, to me, is like bully language.
Q: What is it you want people to know about people with Down syndrome?
A: Give kids with Down syndrome a fair shake – that’s all. That’d be great, for starters. And I would like people to stop referring to kids with disabilities as “retards”- it’s like a spear in our sternum because it so diminishes that kid’s capacity to do anything because he’s a “retard” – what is that?
Also in Exceptional Parent:
12 ways to make a difference for your grandchild with autism.
Rose’s life lessons, signed and spoken. A father’s story about a mom and daughter telling high school students about their lives with Down syndrome.
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(Photo from Exceptional Parent)
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March 23rd, 2009 at 10:28 am
[Editor's note: This is a letter intended for John C. McGinley, actor and one of the stars of "Scrubs"]
John,
I am writing to you after learning that you have a son with Down Syndrome. I saw your segment on the Bonnie Hunt show on YOUTUBE and wanted to pass on what our family is trying to do to bring more light to the special needs population in America, especially in light of the recent remarks of President Obama on the Jay Leno show about comparing his bowling skills to that of a Special Olympians.
Below is the letter I sent to Senator Lautenberg, one of our two state Senators here in New Jersey, in response to President Obama’s insensitive remarks. I have also spoken to Mark Edenzon of the New Jersey Special Olympics Chapter, and he was most helpful and supportive.
Emailed on 3/20/09 to Senator Lautenberg
Sir,
I contacted your Washington DC office today and spoke to Anne about President Obama’s disparaging remark about Special Olympics on the Jay Leno show last night and she asked that I write to you.
As a father of a special needs daughter who will be graduating as senior this spring from the Titusville Academy, a private special needs school located in Titusville, New Jersey, I am profoundly disappointed that our President showed such poor judgment.
Our daughter Becky, as well as my wife has worked very hard to make sure that she will be able to live an independent life and be her own person.
My wife ran for the Board of Education in our township when she felt our daughter was being treated as a second class citizen, she won and during her term she made sure the special needs population of the school distract was not ignored or neglected.
My wife did not work at times to make sure the needs of our daughter were met and she fought for her at every turn. She sacrificed and we put the needs of our daughter first in every case. This included our mainstream daughter Katie who is one year older than Becky; she was part of the team to get Becky where she is today.
Collectively as a family we worked very hard to give Becky many opportunities that would hopefully make her succeed as an adult. She learned how to ski and snowboard, learned to swim, she got her driving permit in NJ, became a Red Cross certified lifeguard and worked last summer as lifeguard. She passed her high school proficiency test, and we are looking at her attending community college next year. She also participated in the Special Olympics Equestrian program when she was younger and won many competitions.
During these competitions we saw many families who had children with far greater disabilities than Becky, and I truly felt for them, I wondered how they were going to make out.
We also know what no mainstream parent knows: we know what it is like to know that we will more than likely predecease our children, and one of the biggest burdens a special needs parent carries is the fact that they more than likely will not be there to protect their special needs child later in their life.
This burden is one that special needs parents carry, but we accept it and do everything in our power to make sure that Becky will be ready to take care of herself. My wife and I have actually had discussions about trying to figure out if we can leave her our home, so she will have a roof over her head and a place she knows belongs to her, should her employment potential and growth not support her buying her own home. We do not know if we will be able to do that, but we are going to try. We’ll figure something out.
Ironically last night, 19 March 2009 we attended the Titusville Academy’s family Fun night, we have attended these over the years in support of not only our daughter but also of the Titusville Academy. We have one more Family Fun night at the Titusville Academy and then we have Becky’s graduation on 16 Jun 2009. Last night I saw children from grade school through high school at the Titusville Academy and I again thought about how they will make out in life.
Many of the children come from the inner city of Trenton, and some do not have the opportunities that we were able to provide for Becky.
The staff at the Titusville Academy is special and they have had a great impact on not only Becky’s life, but all of the student population. Their job is tough, they have parents who participate a great deal and others who do not, they have to deal with kids from single parent homes as well as with parents who come from affluent homes.
But they do the job, everyday they deal with not only educational needs but crisis that may be occurring in the home. And they make the necessary adjustments and get the child back on track.
As a side note when our daughter was in public school, we were called from work constantly to take her out of the class and were asked to take her home, they wanted her medicated, we refused.
When we went to Titusville, we were no longer being called away from our jobs, my wife was able to return to work on a full time basis, and we were not beaten up about putting her on some type of medication to control her. And you know what? We succeeded, and I think we are going to continue to succeed. She started at the Titusville Academy in the fourth grade.
Before I close I would like to tell you how I was raised and what I was told about the special needs children and adults. I was raised by strong parents who taught us right from wrong.
My Dad was a simple man, he was raised in the depression by immigrant parents from the Ukraine, then went and served as a Gunners Mate in the U.S. Navy in World War II, he then came back and went to work and got married. He did not graduate from high school, he never attained great wealth and yes he had many faults.
But he taught me a few things before he left this world at age 62. And one of those was that it was his house and therefore it was his rules, and one of those rules was; that if he ever caught us picking on a person that was mentally handicapped, we would not want to find out what he meant.
He would tell me that God gave me all my faculties and health, and that handicapped people were God’s chosen people, and that I was not to pick on them under any circumstance and that if I found anyone doing it I was to stop them.
He said that it was our responsibility to help them, because we were healthy and could think for ourselves. Little did I know at the time I would have a special needs child someday.
In closing I would like to ask that if you have the opportunity to speak to President Obama that you pass on our disappointment as special needs parents of his poor judgment in using the Special Olympics as a punch line, and please also pass on that we wish him great success at the same time, just as we wish all our Presidents great success regardless of party. I think he was caught up in the moment on late night TV and perhaps had a momentary lost of perspective.
We would also encourage you to ask President Obama and the First Lady to visit a school such as Titusville in the near future, so they could perhaps get a better understanding of what is going on in these private special needs schools from an executive level.
We also would like to see you and Senator Mendez take a more proactive approach after this recent incident, and we as the parents and family of a very special “young adult” ask that you both take the opportunity to go visit a school such as Titusville, so you to could get a firsthand look and a fresh perspective of what is going on in the special needs community in new Jersey. We look forward to your written response in regards to this inquiry and thank you for all your time and effort in regards to this matter.
Sincerely,
Robert J. Stodnick
As you can see in my letter I tried to remain apolitical, however I feel that has not occured in the media. I feel that this one is being swept as quickly as possible under the rug.
If this truly is to be a teaching moment for the nation, it should start with our President making a greater effort to not only explain his remarks and what he did or did not mean to say, but he can also make greater efforts to look at ways to improve opportunites for not only special needs citizens, but also the families who have to support and raise them.
These opportunities should include but are not limited to employment and education opportunities beyond high school.
Well I think I’ve said enough and I look forward to hearing from you and wish you and your son great success in life.
Take care
Bob Stodnick