People frequently tell me to lighten up when I call them on using the word retard. They tell me to that I’m getting upset over nothing. So in response, I’ll say that I respect your father and if it would have bothered him to hear certain words then people shouldn’t use them, for that reason alone.

Although I don’t understand the issue, I have to try and see it through his eyes, that’s what respect is. Wish people like Ben Stiller could have done the same.

We parents of children with special needs expect others to respect our wishes when it comes language used in relation to our children. I think we all owe the same respect to older people who, like our children, cannot always speak for themselves.

As the mom of a special needs child, we deal with hearing much worse language thrown at us every day. Give me someone calling my child “dear” or “sweetie” any day over “retard.” I can’t get through a day without hearing someone demean and offend my child and others like her with really offensive language.

I’m truly sorry if in fact being called “dear” or “sweetie” or having someone ask you what you did when you were a somebody puts you in a funk enough to shorten your life span. At least you have the ability to defend yourself by standing up and saying you prefer to be called something else.

I hope that someday, someone at the New York Times thinks that we as a community are important enough to put our story on the front page and give our children and family members the attention they so rightly deserve.