My seventh child has Down Syndrome. I accepted the diagnosis in private for some time before I was ready to share it with family, let alone the world. I believe a diagnosis of cerebral palsy comes after the child has displayed delays in certain areas over time (pardon me if I am incorrect). The diagnosis of Down Syndrome is comes quite abruptly … it either is or isn’t. Please do not be disgusted by Sarah Palin’s need to process her feelings. No matter how accepting we parents are, the initial diagnosis is a shock.

Caring for a person with Down Syndrome, like caring for anyone or anything else, is always best when “front-loaded,” i.e., start early, work hard, and the end result will be so much better. From birth, these children require daily consistent therapies to address the common issues of low muscle tone, gastrointestinal issues, possible hearing and vision problems, and general personalities that are undemanding and pleasant. That last description can be particularly problematic, as it’s easy to just be grateful to have a “good baby” who doesn’t cry or demand attention; until about 4 months (and with babies with Down Syndrome), babies can’t stimulate themselves, and need a lot of consistent interaction, active play and engagement by people who love them to stimulate intellectual development.

Recently, I became the grandmother of a little girl who has Down syndrome. She’s just a few weeks older than little Trig, and she’s on track with all her “non-disabled” peers, trying to sit alone, reaching for the rattles and toys she prefers, smiling and talking to us, and generally showing everyone who meets her that babies with Down Syndrome can be just like the rest of us.

My daughter-in-law, a stay-at-home mom, and my son, who has a 40-hour-a-week job, work so hard and so diligently with our little girl, ensuring consistency with her therapies and medical appointments and giving her the kind of loving attention that inspires her to work very hard to learn. They know what most families who have children with disabilities know, that there is no substitute for family (preferably parental) involvement to ensure that their little girl will have the best chance for a typical life possible. I’d like to see someone report on the statistics of broken marriages, abandoned careers, and other sacrifices made by families of children with disabilities, but sacrifices made gladly and out of love. Mothers of children with disabilities know that it is nearly impossible to be a working mom and provide the kind of love and care needed for their children to thrive.

Poor little Trig. His mother is not trying to be a “working mom,” she is running for an office that requires 24/7 attention. The job she wants isn’t as an executive with a major company, from which she can be fired for poor performance. She’ll be a heartbeat away from a job with an intensity of demands that are virtually incomprehensible. First spouses, I understand, also have quite a few demands placed on them, at official functions, as goodwill ambassadors, etc. And we won’t be able to fire her for poor performance. And poor little Trig will not have the advantage (parents who are engaged in his life) that professionals know is vital to his development, that could ensure that he has the best chance possible to have a typical life, like the rest of us.

Mrs. Palin made her choice when she got pregnant in the first place. She was reluctant to tell Alaska residents about her pregnancy for fear that they would think she couldn’t handle all the responsibilities of her office and her family. But she thinks being our vice president is all right? She chose life, and now she should nurture that life, for which she has a unique responsibility. She’s only 44; maybe she should have said, “Thanks, but no thanks,” to the McCain campaign. Maybe her time will come again in 10-12 years.