How’s this for a way to celebrate the 17th anniversary of the ADA? Comedy Central’s ‘The Daily Show with Jon Stewart’ carried this report on lazy Las Vegas tourists renting mobility devices meant for people with disabilities. The segment, apparently based on a story from USA Today, features footage of a guy on a three-wheeled scooter disrupting traffic, mowing down Celine Dion during a concert, and arguing with a security guard over whether he is in violation of the ADA: “Americans with Disinclination to Walk Act.”Money quote: “Turns out most folks are inherently good. [We] have a word for those people. Suckers.”

Partial — and unofficial — transcript:

Jon Stewart: Disabled Americans have made tremendous progress fighting discrimination, getting themselves equal access. But there are still some who fall between the cracks. Jason Jones has more.

Jason Jones: Meet Chris Flexhaug. He is a lazy (bleep.) Things that are easy for most people are challenging to him. Even a simple gambling trip to Las Vegas.

Chris Flexhaug: Some of these places, they look closer than they are. You get out at the casino and you think it’s just acroos the street, but then you have to go around here, and over there. It’s just walk, walk, walk. It’s a challenge, getting around.

Jason Jones: Fortunately for Chris, there’s a solution. The Pride Sundancer 500. Like thousands of able-bodied dickheads, Chris rents a mobility scooter to eliminate the rigors of walking from the craps table to the … baccarat table. These three wheels have given Chris a new lease on life.

Chris Flexhaug: Riding in the mobility scooter, people did … think I was special. People are nicer. People will open doors for you.

Jason Jones: You are sort of receiving the perks of a crippled man.

Chris Flexhaug: I don’t happen to know a crippled man, and so I don’t know if he’s receiving those perks or not, but I definitely think it’s my right to ride the mobility scooter.

Jason Jones: But some want to keep those rights all to themselves.

Paul Martin, Founder, Nevadans for Equal Access (in wheelchair): I think it’s outrageous that these perfectly healthy individuals are renting these mobility devices.

Jason Jones: Oh sure, they don’t have hypocholemic periodic paralysis with lower bilateral myopathy, but these folk are lazy.

Paul Martin: Laziness is not recognized as a disability

Jason Jones: Are you saying you’re more disabled than him?

Paul Martin: Most definitely

Jason Jones: There are people out there who say you shouldn’t have equal access to these scooters.

Chris Flexhaug: Why not?

Jason Jones: Because you don’t need it.

Chris Flexhaug: I think we do a lot of things in life not out of necessity.

This entry was posted on Monday, August 6th, 2007 at 11:33 am and is filed under accessibility, disabilities, entertainment, humor, mobility, transportation. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.  Email This Post